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00:00:00,267 --> 00:00:02,033
[music]

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00:00:02,067 --> 00:00:04,000
Caroline Channing: Happy one
St. Patrick's Day.

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00:00:04,033 --> 00:00:06,167
Guinness and Irish Cream
Cupcakes for everyone.

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00:00:06,200 --> 00:00:07,600
Enjoy your blackout.

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[laughter]

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Max Black: These are the last ones
12 cupcakes.

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Two of them are bare
Potatoes from the diner.

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[laughter]

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At some point I started

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green glaze on everything
do.

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Caroline Channing: We had
not so much to do anymore -

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since someone said “free sex stuff”
sprayed on the wall outside
has.

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[laughter]

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Max Black: And you say,

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I don't understand anything about it
Marketing.

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[laughter]

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Mother: Happy St.
Patrick's Day.

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Brigett, Patrick, John, Mary
and you two,

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the little ones there,

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come here.

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We ordered something.

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Max Black: I would rather
Condoms...

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should order.

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[laughter]

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We'll have that right away.

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Caroline Channing: I said
although

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I hate St. Patrick's Day,

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because on the streets only
drunk garbage is on the way...

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Max Black: We prefer it
when we get drunk -

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called waste.

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[laughter]

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Caroline Channing: But that was
before I knew

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that drunk trash has coal!

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Who needs green goblins,

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if he has so many green toads
has!

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[Laughs]

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Max Black: Oh, you barely see
a bit of coal,

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you act like an Irish maid.

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Or in your case,

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on crazy Irish maid.

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[laughter]

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Who wants cupcakes?

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Children: Yesss!

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[music]

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Caroline Channing: It has
fully worth it,

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to wake up early this morning.

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With the St. Patrick's revenue -

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can we get new pillows
buy.

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Or just pillows.

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[laughter]

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Max Black: Or we go to ne
Bar

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and sleep on a couple
fat boys.

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[laughter]

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Caroline Channing: Okay.

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How much did we earn?

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Show me the money!

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Max Black: $351.

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Caroline Channing: Show me that one
Rest of the money.

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Max Black: Well, I have three
branched off.

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Caroline Channing: That is
everything?

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Max Black: Well, there were five.

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A bitch can't have one
Buy a burger?

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[Laughter]

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Caroline Channing: But we do
have worked so hard.

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I have so much green among them
fingernails,

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like after really good sex with
Shrek.

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[laughter]

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Max Black: You can only do that
have really good ones.

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[laughter]

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Green guys let black guys like
Whites look.

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I love St. Patrick's Day.

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Caroline Channing: Tell me one thing
what's nice about it.

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Good morning in the morning!

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Max Black: Look...

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a Han-bold.

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Han Lee: And?

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What do you say?

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Caroline Channing: I do
worries.

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If you go out like that,

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maybe plant them in
a flower box.

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[laughter]

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Han Lee: You're still laughing...

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and probably the whole thing too
night,

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but with this costume are
my chances

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getting laid higher
than ever!

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[laughter]

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Max Black: So zero?

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[laughter]

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Han Lee: No.

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100%.

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Caroline Channing: What does
Are you so confident?

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Maybe because you are in your
green suit quite a bit -

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have white coke?

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[laughter]

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Max Black: I can do it
comprehend.

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You're close to St.
Patrick's Day

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and find it funny

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to get laid a leprechaun.

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[laughter]

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Like I did on Presidents Day

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in the used car lot
a number -

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had with Uncle Sam.

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[laughter]

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Han Lee: This costume is mine
Ace up your sleeve.

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Max Black: Well,

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It makes you look like an ass
with arms.

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[laughter]

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Oleg: Nice outfit, Han.

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They look like mine
Regular pimp in Vietnam.

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[laughter]

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Come on.

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Let's go to the parade.

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Max Black: Oleg,

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we are in America.

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You can have an accent

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or a suspect
sports bag,

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but not both.

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[laughter]

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Oleg: Very calm.

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It's just my goods in there.

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Because I will t-shirts
sell.

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[laughter]

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Max Black: That's disgusting.

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[laughter]

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I want five of them.

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[laughter]

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Oleg: You may have too
interest -

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to my other one
sensational product.

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Pee funnel.

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Caroline Channing: I did
maybe -

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no interest in that at all
product.

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Oleg: That's one
Disposable funnel for

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socially upwardly mobile young people
Ladies,

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those on the street like a man,

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want to pee standing up.

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[laughter]

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I mean,

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Do you know these mobile toilets?
at the parades?

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Max Black: Know?

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I was conceived in one.

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[laughter]

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Oleg: You're pushing such a baby
into the

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pants and can pee in the park.

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No ifs or buts.

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Well, a little if and a
a bit but.

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And probably a very
painful cut on the paper.

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Max Black: That's disgusting.

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I want five of them.

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Better do six,

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because if it's for ladies,

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Han will definitely need one.

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Caroline Channing: From bar to
pull bar,

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with a horny goblin and
a pee funnel salesman?

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That's not really my thing.

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Can't you go with Deke?

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This is just for you
friend,

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who is just as disgusting as you.

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[laughter]

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Max Black: I know, but that one
is snowboarding.

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Somewhere called Veil with
something called family.

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[laughter]

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We need a solid foundation
for the booze,

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which we're pouring ourselves into today.

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That takes us all the way to the hot dog
on the street

165
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at three in the morning.

166
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Who then takes us up to
Fruit breakfast

167
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at twelve thirty noon
supplied.

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Come on.

169
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Basis.

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00:04:54,967 --> 00:04:56,167
Caroline Channing: I miss
my St. Patrick's tradition.

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Do you want to hear it?

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Max Black: Don't.

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Caroline Channing: From 16 to 21

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are my friends and I -

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a few boys were there too

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00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,433
although technically not allowed
was,

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Max Black: I was sixteen

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already divorced three times and
Honorary member

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00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:09,133
the electricians' union,

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00:05:09,167 --> 00:05:10,167
but keep talking.

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Caroline Channing: We have
the best suite in the Plaza

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overlooking the parade
rented

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and balloons with champagne
filled.

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And have them on the people of the
Thrown parade.

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[Laughs]

186
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Really funny.

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00:05:24,967 --> 00:05:25,667
[Laughs]

188
00:05:26,367 --> 00:05:27,600
Max Black: Wait, that was you?

189
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You have me and mine
Friend Archie caught.

190
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:32,067
He sells car covers in
Rhode Island.

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He really did it.

192
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[laughter]

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Han Lee: Max.

194
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Why are you delaying him?
start,

195
00:05:36,967 --> 00:05:38,600
if I want to tow something?

196
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[laughter]

197
00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:41,667
Max Black: Stop over
Sex with this body too
speak.

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That's disgusting!

199
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[music]

200
00:05:46,733 --> 00:05:48,700
[taxi honks]

201
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:52,733
We've been sitting there for an hour now
Traffic fixed.

202
00:05:52,767 --> 00:05:55,233
I already have 37 Guinness
can tilt.

203
00:05:55,267 --> 00:05:56,800
And with that I would have it
Guinness World Record

204
00:05:56,833 --> 00:05:58,233
for most Guinness.

205
00:05:59,567 --> 00:06:00,733
Is the taxi moving?

206
00:06:01,333 --> 00:06:03,233
Is this a new McDonald's or
the one from before?

207
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:04,467
Caroline Channing: The one from
earlier.

208
00:06:04,500 --> 00:06:05,600
Unless the bum does one

209
00:06:05,633 --> 00:06:07,200
masturbation tour
Manhattan.

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00:06:07,233 --> 00:06:08,500
[laughter]

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00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:09,067
Oleg: Come on.

212
00:06:09,100 --> 00:06:10,100
We have to move on.

213
00:06:10,133 --> 00:06:10,700
Honk.

214
00:06:10,733 --> 00:06:11,333
That they go away.

215
00:06:11,367 --> 00:06:12,767
[honk]

216
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,900
Taxi driver: If you honk my horn
touch again,

217
00:06:14,933 --> 00:06:16,700
I'll cut off your hand.

218
00:06:16,967 --> 00:06:18,833
Oleg: Okay, loudmouth, do it.

219
00:06:18,867 --> 00:06:21,333
Do it if that's what we want
arrive faster.

220
00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:22,567
[laughter]

221
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:23,367
Han Lee: I said,

222
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:24,400
I'll buy the taxi,

223
00:06:24,433 --> 00:06:25,867
but it's seventy dollars.

224
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,833
And I need that for one
Junior King Room...

225
00:06:27,867 --> 00:06:29,333
at the Holiday Inn Express.

226
00:06:29,367 --> 00:06:30,300
[laughter]

227
00:06:30,333 --> 00:06:31,000
Max Black: Don't worry.

228
00:06:31,033 --> 00:06:32,067
We can take care of this.

229
00:06:32,467 --> 00:06:33,667
Caroline Channing: No, can
we don't.

230
00:06:33,700 --> 00:06:35,767
We need the $356.

231
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,133
Today's earnings must
enough,

232
00:06:37,167 --> 00:06:38,667
until we are 82.

233
00:06:39,067 --> 00:06:40,667
This is how we pay for ours
Funeral, Max.

234
00:06:40,700 --> 00:06:41,700
Max Black: Don't panic.

235
00:06:41,733 --> 00:06:42,767
We will make more money.

236
00:06:42,800 --> 00:06:43,433
Not much more,

237
00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:44,467
but a little.

238
00:06:46,067 --> 00:06:47,067
Oleg: Damn,

239
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,200
the bagpipers come
already towards us.

240
00:06:49,367 --> 00:06:51,100
You play that
Curfew song.

241
00:06:51,233 --> 00:06:53,033
That means the parade is
over.

242
00:06:53,067 --> 00:06:55,200
So I never sell mine
Pee funnel.

243
00:06:55,233 --> 00:06:55,900
All right,

244
00:06:55,933 --> 00:06:57,333
at least a few t-shirts.

245
00:06:58,033 --> 00:06:58,733
Watch out,

246
00:06:58,767 --> 00:07:00,467
Kiss me I'm Irish t-shirt

247
00:07:00,500 --> 00:07:01,967
just a paltry 15 dollars.

248
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:02,500
[laughter]

249
00:07:02,533 --> 00:07:04,067
Or two for 25.

250
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:05,433
Five for 60.

251
00:07:05,467 --> 00:07:06,767
You fashion ignoramus.

252
00:07:07,967 --> 00:07:10,167
Taxi driver: You're not allowed to do anything
sell out the window.

253
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:11,033
This is illegal.

254
00:07:11,067 --> 00:07:12,567
You need a permit.

255
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,067
Oleg: Just drive, grandma.

256
00:07:14,100 --> 00:07:15,500
So if you are a real Russian
are,

257
00:07:15,533 --> 00:07:17,733
then there is a slingshot
a Kalashnikov.

258
00:07:17,767 --> 00:07:18,633
[laughter]

259
00:07:18,667 --> 00:07:19,633
Taxi Driver: Say that again

260
00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:21,633
and I will cut your tongue
out!

261
00:07:21,667 --> 00:07:23,600
Oleg: Oh, you want the tongue
cut me out?

262
00:07:23,733 --> 00:07:26,833
Why do you want all women in
punish the tristate region?

263
00:07:26,867 --> 00:07:28,867
[laughter]

264
00:07:28,900 --> 00:07:29,867
Caroline Channing: Just looks
oh my god,

265
00:07:29,900 --> 00:07:30,900
That's Earl!

266
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:32,900
[bagpipes music]

267
00:07:32,933 --> 00:07:33,467
Max Black: Earl,

268
00:07:33,500 --> 00:07:35,133
what are you doing here?

269
00:07:35,733 --> 00:07:36,967
Earl: Hey, guys.

270
00:07:37,333 --> 00:07:38,933
This is mine
Bagpipe troupe.

271
00:07:38,967 --> 00:07:40,333
The Black Irish.

272
00:07:40,567 --> 00:07:42,600
I'm black, they are
Irish.

273
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,033
Max Black: Why didn't you
said,

274
00:07:44,067 --> 00:07:45,767
that you are on parade
are you marching?

275
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:46,667
Earl: Well,

276
00:07:46,700 --> 00:07:47,900
I don't really like going with it
peddle,

277
00:07:47,933 --> 00:07:49,733
that I publicly wear a skirt
wear.

278
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:50,833
[laughter]

279
00:07:50,867 --> 00:07:51,767
Caroline Channing: Where did you
learned so perfectly -

280
00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,033
To play the bagpipes?

281
00:07:53,067 --> 00:07:54,767
Earl: I have no idea.

282
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,667
At some point I have too much acid
thrown out.

283
00:07:57,700 --> 00:07:59,133
And when the trip was over -

284
00:07:59,167 --> 00:08:00,567
I could play the bagpipes

285
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:02,067
and drive a car with a stick shift.

286
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:02,667
[laughter]

287
00:08:03,500 --> 00:08:04,167
Earl: I'll see you then
Bernie.

288
00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:09,667
[bagpipes music]

289
00:08:10,067 --> 00:08:11,300
Max Black: Han, pay up
the man.

290
00:08:11,333 --> 00:08:12,800
We can do the ten blocks too
run.

291
00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:14,667
Han Lee and Caroline Channing:
In these shoes?

292
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:20,700
[music]

293
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,233
Caroline Channing: Green beer.

294
00:08:22,267 --> 00:08:23,467
Is this how we honor the Irish?

295
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,800
Some of our best
Writers and poets?

296
00:08:26,233 --> 00:08:27,667
Max Black: Oh, it's from them
for example the saying:

297
00:08:27,700 --> 00:08:28,867
"Whoever squirts while peeing,

298
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:30,100
who cleans the seats"?

299
00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:32,200
[laughter]

300
00:08:32,233 --> 00:08:33,267
Caroline Channing: First time.

301
00:08:33,300 --> 00:08:34,467
Isn't that poetry?

302
00:08:35,100 --> 00:08:37,133
And since I do that with you
Bathroom parts...

303
00:08:37,333 --> 00:08:38,100
maybe it would be good

304
00:08:38,133 --> 00:08:38,500
to do that.

305
00:08:38,967 --> 00:08:40,800
[laughter]

306
00:08:40,833 --> 00:08:43,633
Max Black: It might be
good your frown
to fill.

307
00:08:43,667 --> 00:08:44,333
[laughter]

308
00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:45,267
Caroline Channing: Okay, sure.

309
00:08:45,300 --> 00:08:46,467
We are two young women,

310
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:47,767
the most likely
most dangerous -

311
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,700
America's holiday on the move
are.

312
00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:52,533
How come ...? Why should we?
be careful?

313
00:08:52,567 --> 00:08:54,300
Max Black: That's how I like it.

314
00:08:54,733 --> 00:08:55,800
And who knows.

315
00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:57,233
Maybe you'll meet one
cute Irish.

316
00:08:57,367 --> 00:08:59,333
Man: [shouts] Happy St.
Patty's Day!

317
00:08:59,367 --> 00:09:00,767
[Laughter]

318
00:09:00,867 --> 00:09:02,133
Max Black: Blarney Bill.

319
00:09:02,300 --> 00:09:03,533
Caroline Channing: Are you?
Owner of this

320
00:09:03,567 --> 00:09:04,767
- colorful establishments?

321
00:09:05,033 --> 00:09:06,133
Man: I'm not even that
Owner

322
00:09:06,167 --> 00:09:07,167
...my pants.

323
00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,367
Where is my kiss?

324
00:09:11,867 --> 00:09:14,000
Max Black: Blarney Bill is that
Mascot of the store.

325
00:09:14,033 --> 00:09:15,967
He gives me a kiss every year
because it brings luck.

326
00:09:16,300 --> 00:09:18,033
Caroline Channing: And when
is luck starting to work?

327
00:09:18,700 --> 00:09:20,200
Blarney Bill: Where's my kiss?

328
00:09:20,233 --> 00:09:21,233
Caroline Channing: I have that
at home -

329
00:09:21,267 --> 00:09:22,667
forgotten on the dresser.

330
00:09:25,900 --> 00:09:26,667
Wow.

331
00:09:26,767 --> 00:09:28,500
The mustache is real
wet.

332
00:09:28,533 --> 00:09:30,100
[laughter]

333
00:09:30,133 --> 00:09:31,367
Blarney Bill: Scotch and fish.

334
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:33,833
Caroline Channing: What?

335
00:09:33,867 --> 00:09:34,800
Blarney Bill: That's why he is
wet.

336
00:09:34,833 --> 00:09:37,100
[Laughs]

337
00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:40,400
Max Black: Man, he is the one
Best.

338
00:09:40,433 --> 00:09:41,367
Caroline Channing: The best
what?

339
00:09:41,633 --> 00:09:42,500
[laughter]

340
00:09:42,667 --> 00:09:43,667
Oleg: Hey, girls.

341
00:09:44,067 --> 00:09:45,933
I have my last t-shirt
sold.

342
00:09:45,967 --> 00:09:46,667
[laughter]

343
00:09:46,700 --> 00:09:47,667
Yes, I said

344
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,067
that small suits you.

345
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:52,500
[laughter]

346
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,167
Caroline Channing: You see
Han back there -

347
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:55,700
at the table with all the...

348
00:09:55,867 --> 00:09:57,600
I say girl.

349
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,067
They're totally keen on a photo
are with him?

350
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:01,933
Woman: Becca.

351
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:03,367
Becca.

352
00:10:04,033 --> 00:10:05,033
I am here.

353
00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:07,867
Oh no, you're not Becca.

354
00:10:08,500 --> 00:10:09,500
Hello there.

355
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,433
See my friend Becca
completely similar.

356
00:10:12,367 --> 00:10:14,333
Are you waiting for a photo too?
the goblin?

357
00:10:14,533 --> 00:10:15,100
Caroline Channing: No.

358
00:10:15,133 --> 00:10:15,633
Max Black: Five dollars.

359
00:10:16,300 --> 00:10:16,533
Caroline Channing: How what?

360
00:10:17,433 --> 00:10:18,133
Max Black: This, uh, is ours
Goblin.

361
00:10:18,167 --> 00:10:19,867
We are Mc Agent and Mc
Managers.

362
00:10:20,100 --> 00:10:22,233
And we charge five dollars
for a selfie with him.

363
00:10:22,500 --> 00:10:23,500
Woman: Super cheap.

364
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:26,100
Caroline Channing: Max.

365
00:10:26,567 --> 00:10:27,733
I'm not taking part in that.

366
00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:29,433
Max Black: Then we have to come
the cupcake revenue

367
00:10:29,467 --> 00:10:30,633
pay the taxi home.

368
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:32,467
Caroline Channing: Okay,

369
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,333
that one is a maiden goblin.

370
00:10:34,367 --> 00:10:35,633
That would be 10 dollars.

371
00:10:35,667 --> 00:10:36,600
[laughter]

372
00:10:36,633 --> 00:10:37,333
10 for a photo, 15 for one
Kiss.

373
00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:38,500
Nothing below the belt.

374
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:40,633
Max Black: Under the
There is a waistline
nothing.

375
00:10:42,733 --> 00:10:43,900
Woman: Do you take a 20?

376
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,333
Max Black: Well, if not
is different.

377
00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:47,767
[laughter]

378
00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:49,933
Woman: Listen.

379
00:10:49,967 --> 00:10:50,933
If you're an orphan,

380
00:10:50,967 --> 00:10:51,967
I'm interested.

381
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,733
[laughter]

382
00:10:55,667 --> 00:10:57,333
Han Lee: Try your money with me
to earn for me?

383
00:10:57,367 --> 00:10:59,167
You wolves of Wall Street?

384
00:10:59,567 --> 00:11:00,400
Max Black: We just use

385
00:11:00,433 --> 00:11:02,033
any drunk ones
people out.

386
00:11:02,067 --> 00:11:03,700
That's a St. Patrick's
tradition.

387
00:11:03,733 --> 00:11:04,767
Like puking in the street.

388
00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:05,800
Or beat up cops.

389
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:07,767
[laughter]

390
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:08,400
Han Lee: Good,

391
00:11:08,433 --> 00:11:09,267
then get them to

392
00:11:09,300 --> 00:11:10,433
that I was taken advantage of by them
will.

393
00:11:10,633 --> 00:11:12,700
A little touch on Han's
Hansen.

394
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,067
[laughter]

395
00:11:14,100 --> 00:11:16,633
I'm keen on the buxom ones
paralegal.

396
00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:17,600
[laughter]

397
00:11:17,633 --> 00:11:18,833
Caroline Channing: Like this one
over there?

398
00:11:18,867 --> 00:11:20,867
They have their own chicken
brought with you?

399
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:23,433
[Laughter]

400
00:11:23,933 --> 00:11:25,100
Han Lee: Give it to me.

401
00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:27,000
Max Black: I should go over
to a woman,

402
00:11:27,033 --> 00:11:29,667
the one 2 liter bottle of cola
bring to a bar?

403
00:11:29,700 --> 00:11:31,967
[laughter]

404
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,367
And demand money from her,

405
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,933
that you can touch them.

406
00:11:34,967 --> 00:11:36,033
Han Lee: Accurately recognized.

407
00:11:36,067 --> 00:11:37,900
[laughter]

408
00:11:37,933 --> 00:11:38,800
Caroline Channing: What's up
become me?

409
00:11:38,833 --> 00:11:39,833
Where am I?

410
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:41,800
Max Black: Blarney's!

411
00:11:42,267 --> 00:11:42,900
Caroline Channing: Oh God,

412
00:11:42,933 --> 00:11:43,767
Blarney Bill.

413
00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:44,967
Blarney Bill: Hey, that's mine
name.

414
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000
Where is my kiss?

415
00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:46,600
Caroline Channing: Oh, you know
You.

416
00:11:46,633 --> 00:11:47,167
I...

417
00:11:49,567 --> 00:11:51,767
I have to go to the toilet and
everything on my mouth...

418
00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:52,967
and is in my mouth

419
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,900
from in my mouth and out
wash my mouth.

420
00:11:54,933 --> 00:11:58,033
[music]

421
00:11:58,067 --> 00:11:59,300
We've been waiting here for so long.

422
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:00,900
That I now too
have to pee.

423
00:12:02,067 --> 00:12:03,467
Max, are you eating chicken?

424
00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:06,867
Max Black: She had no money
to tickle Han.

425
00:12:06,900 --> 00:12:08,667
So I have contraband chicken
taken.

426
00:12:09,933 --> 00:12:11,567
I think that was a good deal.

427
00:12:14,033 --> 00:12:14,567
Forgiveness.

428
00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:15,533
Please stand at the back.

429
00:12:15,567 --> 00:12:16,233
Don't push.

430
00:12:16,267 --> 00:12:16,933
Woman: Please.

431
00:12:17,033 --> 00:12:18,100
I feel bad.

432
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:18,867
Caroline Channing: No,

433
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:19,467
don't push,

434
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:20,200
don't whine.

435
00:12:20,233 --> 00:12:21,733
This is how we become angels.

436
00:12:21,767 --> 00:12:23,900
Max Black: It's like that
famous Irish poetry?

437
00:12:23,933 --> 00:12:24,767
[laughter]

438
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:26,467
Woman: I completely understand, everything
clear.

439
00:12:27,200 --> 00:12:28,367
Max Black: Now let her go
before.

440
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,700
It's St. Patrick's Day.

441
00:12:29,733 --> 00:12:30,867
She is enjoying herself.

442
00:12:30,900 --> 00:12:31,767
Caroline Channing: I do
not again from mine -

443
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,533
St. Patrick's tradition in the Plaza
talk...

444
00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:34,433
Max Black: Oh, good.

445
00:12:34,467 --> 00:12:35,867
[laughter]

446
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:36,633
Caroline Channing: But there is
it had been so much better than
here.

447
00:12:37,367 --> 00:12:38,600
We didn't have to queue

448
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:39,900
we just sat there...

449
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,000
got our favorite dishes -

450
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:42,667
and sipped Belinis.

451
00:12:43,033 --> 00:12:44,467
Max Black: I'm going to drag you
before the court,

452
00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:45,500
if you keep talking.

453
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,233
Woman: Guys, I got me
just handed over.

454
00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:52,167
[laughter]

455
00:12:56,133 --> 00:12:57,433
Caroline Channing: And you
carry it around,

456
00:12:57,467 --> 00:12:58,867
like a baby chick?

457
00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,200
Woman: I think I'll drink now
water.

458
00:13:02,733 --> 00:13:04,667
I have to have one in four hours
Driving a school bus.

459
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:07,600
[laughter]

460
00:13:07,967 --> 00:13:09,567
Max Black: You're a good one
American.

461
00:13:09,600 --> 00:13:11,400
[laughter]

462
00:13:11,433 --> 00:13:12,533
Woman: I know what I am.

463
00:13:15,433 --> 00:13:16,500
Blimey Bill: Where's my kiss?

464
00:13:17,867 --> 00:13:18,700
Caroline Channing: She has it.

465
00:13:21,933 --> 00:13:22,967
Max Black: It couldn't be any closer.

466
00:13:27,500 --> 00:13:31,000
[cheers from spectators]

467
00:13:31,033 --> 00:13:32,267
Max Black: It was probably still possible
more concise.

468
00:13:32,300 --> 00:13:33,033
[laughter]

469
00:13:33,067 --> 00:13:40,967
[music]

470
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:41,833
Caroline Channing: Come with me.

471
00:13:41,867 --> 00:13:43,133
I need another toilet
find.

472
00:13:43,167 --> 00:13:45,233
I don't pee near you
by Blarney Bil.

473
00:13:45,267 --> 00:13:46,967
I don't want him from me
wants a kiss,

474
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,300
when my pants are down.

475
00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:50,000
[laughter]

476
00:13:50,567 --> 00:13:52,333
Max Black: I gave him yours
number given.

477
00:13:53,367 --> 00:13:54,467
Caroline Channing: Oh no.

478
00:13:54,600 --> 00:13:55,767
I don't think I can do it.

479
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,033
Max Black: You mean in life?

480
00:13:57,133 --> 00:13:58,133
I feel the same way.

481
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:01,200
Caroline Channing: No, it is
all the green beer.

482
00:14:01,467 --> 00:14:04,033
And when I'm here on the
fifty-third pee,

483
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:06,067
I have to leave you in the
Midwest move

484
00:14:06,100 --> 00:14:07,800
and start a new life.

485
00:14:08,267 --> 00:14:10,067
Max Black: I have one here
toilet for you.

486
00:14:10,633 --> 00:14:11,367
Sorry,

487
00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:12,533
there is another chicken
inside.

488
00:14:14,733 --> 00:14:16,767
Caroline Channing: Well I am
dropped pretty low today.

489
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,333
But I don't pee in that
public.

490
00:14:18,367 --> 00:14:19,667
Through a paper penis.

491
00:14:20,233 --> 00:14:21,233
Max Black: Here quickly,

492
00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:22,833
you just have to get behind it
Hide the car.

493
00:14:23,167 --> 00:14:24,100
I stand in front of it.

494
00:14:24,133 --> 00:14:25,033
That no one sees it.

495
00:14:25,067 --> 00:14:26,700
And the 15 high school bands
will that

496
00:14:26,733 --> 00:14:28,833
Sighs of your deepest
drown out humiliation.

497
00:14:28,867 --> 00:14:30,633
[laughter]

498
00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:31,633
Caroline Channing: Give me that
thing.

499
00:14:31,667 --> 00:14:32,267
Damn, Max.

500
00:14:32,300 --> 00:14:32,967
Damn.

501
00:14:33,367 --> 00:14:34,367
How does it work?

502
00:14:35,667 --> 00:14:36,533
Max Black: I have it
Public degree program
Urinate

503
00:14:36,567 --> 00:14:38,133
completed with a diploma.

504
00:14:38,767 --> 00:14:40,333
Open your pants and get in there
thing.

505
00:14:40,367 --> 00:14:41,967
And let the stream flow.

506
00:14:42,133 --> 00:14:43,467
Caroline Channing: It looks
but no one, right?

507
00:14:43,500 --> 00:14:43,933
Max Black: No.

508
00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:51,400
Sophie Kachinsky: Hi Caroline.

509
00:14:56,367 --> 00:14:57,100
Max Black: Sophie!

510
00:14:57,133 --> 00:14:58,567
You were in the parade?

511
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,200
Sophie Kachinsky: Of course I was
there.

512
00:15:00,233 --> 00:15:01,967
You can contact the
Be a volunteer fire department

513
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,867
and not in the parade
ride along.

514
00:15:04,667 --> 00:15:06,333
Caroline Channing: You're with
the volunteer fire department?

515
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:07,667
Sophie Kachinsky: Well, yes.

516
00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:10,500
I go voluntarily
Fire station down.

517
00:15:11,100 --> 00:15:12,167
Apart from that,

518
00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:13,767
someone has to take the hoses
clean.

519
00:15:13,867 --> 00:15:15,167
And that's what I do, baby.

520
00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:18,700
Anyway, we all go
Blarney's.

521
00:15:18,733 --> 00:15:19,733
It's all on me.

522
00:15:20,367 --> 00:15:21,867
And what I mean by that is:

523
00:15:21,967 --> 00:15:23,233
Everything is on me.

524
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:27,300
Max Black: Come with me.

525
00:15:28,300 --> 00:15:29,367
If the hose cleaner tells you
offers drinks,

526
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:30,233
you say yes.

527
00:15:31,467 --> 00:15:32,433
Caroline Channing: Max, me
won't go in there again.

528
00:15:32,667 --> 00:15:33,567
Do you know,

529
00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,233
I'll buy you a drink
in the plaza.

530
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:37,533
The money that we have for the...
wanted to save on a funeral.

531
00:15:37,567 --> 00:15:38,467
That's done,

532
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,233
because I am just now
died.

533
00:15:41,333 --> 00:15:43,167
Max Black: Pee in peace,
Caroline.

534
00:15:43,333 --> 00:15:46,567
[Music]

535
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:49,533
Caroline Channing: Look
Max.

536
00:15:49,567 --> 00:15:50,567
Our Bellinis.

537
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:52,300
Thanks, Claude.

538
00:15:53,633 --> 00:15:55,733
He's in the Plaza one
institution.

539
00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:57,200
And it just occurred to me

540
00:15:57,233 --> 00:15:58,233
that his name is Rolf.

541
00:15:59,133 --> 00:16:00,200
Max Black: As long as you don't
forgets,

542
00:16:00,233 --> 00:16:02,467
that a woman earlier in hers
hands puked,

543
00:16:02,500 --> 00:16:04,000
[laughter]

544
00:16:04,033 --> 00:16:05,400
Caroline Channing: It's not
pretty here?

545
00:16:05,533 --> 00:16:07,833
Less Blarneys...more
Paradise.

546
00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:08,767
And believe me.

547
00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,333
These Bellinis are famous.

548
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:11,967
Max Black: Why, there are
them a sex tape?

549
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,600
[laughter]

550
00:16:13,633 --> 00:16:14,800
Oh, tastes good

551
00:16:14,833 --> 00:16:16,000
like when you eat canned peaches -

552
00:16:16,033 --> 00:16:17,533
in a wine box
pours in.

553
00:16:18,467 --> 00:16:19,600
Caroline Channing: Max,

554
00:16:19,633 --> 00:16:22,267
a Plaza Belini is far more
more elegant than a wine box.

555
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:23,833
Max Black: Well, my rule is,

556
00:16:23,867 --> 00:16:25,033
if it has to go in the fridge,

557
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,067
is it valuable.

558
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:29,133
I mean you - batteries.

559
00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:31,633
[laughter]

560
00:16:32,333 --> 00:16:33,700
Caroline Channing: You know,

561
00:16:33,733 --> 00:16:35,533
today I clearly feel how
very me my old self
miss.

562
00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:39,200
Max Black: And I feel today
how much to me my friend Archie
missing.

563
00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:40,333
[laughter]

564
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:41,533
Caroline Channing: Who?

565
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:42,900
Max Black: The one you with that
You caught a bubbly balloon.

566
00:16:42,933 --> 00:16:44,467
Sells car seat covers in
Rhode Island?

567
00:16:45,033 --> 00:16:46,833
He said he had it
really done it.

568
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:49,233
I haven't been with you for a year
talked to him.

569
00:16:49,267 --> 00:16:50,400
Would have been a good match.

570
00:16:50,433 --> 00:16:52,833
[laughter]

571
00:16:53,133 --> 00:16:54,333
Caroline Channing: You know what
the most exciting...

572
00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:55,367
at the hotel?

573
00:16:55,567 --> 00:16:57,400
When these elevator doors open
open,

574
00:16:57,433 --> 00:16:58,167
you never know

575
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,833
who can get out of there?

576
00:16:59,867 --> 00:17:00,933
[elevator ding]

577
00:17:07,633 --> 00:17:09,133
Max, that's nice.

578
00:17:11,467 --> 00:17:12,367
Max, that's boring.

579
00:17:12,400 --> 00:17:13,400
What happened?

580
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,200
[Laughter]

581
00:17:14,233 --> 00:17:14,800
Max Black: Nothing.

582
00:17:14,833 --> 00:17:15,833
Absolutely nothing.

583
00:17:16,467 --> 00:17:17,433
Caroline Channing: I think
me all at once,

584
00:17:17,467 --> 00:17:18,900
maybe that was even here
not so funny,

585
00:17:18,933 --> 00:17:19,400
as I thought.

586
00:17:20,033 --> 00:17:20,500
Max Black: I think to myself -

587
00:17:20,533 --> 00:17:21,633
Archie is dead.

588
00:17:21,667 --> 00:17:22,667
[laughter]

589
00:17:24,533 --> 00:17:26,200
I think I have a text message like that
get

590
00:17:26,233 --> 00:17:27,233
and ignored her.

591
00:17:27,267 --> 00:17:29,333
[laughter]

592
00:17:29,367 --> 00:17:31,267
Caroline Channing: Self
this Belini is not like that
delicious.

593
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:32,567
I knew it.

594
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,000
My taste buds have
after my first

595
00:17:34,033 --> 00:17:35,767
Supermarket sushi suicide
committed.

596
00:17:35,800 --> 00:17:38,333
[Laughter]

597
00:17:38,367 --> 00:17:40,167
I mean nothing is like that
earlier.

598
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:41,733
Why am I having so much fun?
here?

599
00:17:42,233 --> 00:17:43,633
Max Black: Because you before you
you met me,

600
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:45,167
you didn't know what fun was.

601
00:17:45,333 --> 00:17:46,267
[laughter]

602
00:17:46,300 --> 00:17:47,400
Caroline Channing: I know something
you mean,

603
00:17:47,433 --> 00:17:50,067
but I had one
Caribbean island with six jet skis.

604
00:17:50,100 --> 00:17:50,700
[laughter]

605
00:17:50,733 --> 00:17:51,267
Max Black: Oh come on.

606
00:17:51,300 --> 00:17:52,533
Check it out, ex and hop

607
00:17:52,567 --> 00:17:53,567
Not all that bad.

608
00:17:54,667 --> 00:17:55,333
Caroline Channing: May I
just be sad?

609
00:17:55,633 --> 00:17:56,200
Max Black: No.

610
00:17:56,633 --> 00:17:58,600
Not on St. Patrick's Day.

611
00:17:59,067 --> 00:18:00,433
You should have fun there.

612
00:18:00,467 --> 00:18:02,267
And not about your problems
speak.

613
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,567
The woman with the vomit in her
hand -

614
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,600
didn't sit in the corner either
said:

615
00:18:05,633 --> 00:18:06,967
“My life sucks.”

616
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:07,700
No.

617
00:18:07,733 --> 00:18:09,000
She threw up her hands,

618
00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:11,333
all covered in vomit

619
00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:13,033
and the party
moved on.

620
00:18:13,067 --> 00:18:14,567
[laughter]

621
00:18:14,600 --> 00:18:15,433
Caroline Channing: Yes, the party

622
00:18:15,467 --> 00:18:17,267
Then everyone had their own
shoes.

623
00:18:17,300 --> 00:18:18,300
Max Black: Listen.

624
00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:19,600
It doesn't matter at all

625
00:18:19,633 --> 00:18:21,567
that this is clearly the one here
stupidest place is

626
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,433
at which I ever at my
life was.

627
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,733
Let's drink another forty
Dollar Roberto Benini and

628
00:18:26,767 --> 00:18:28,033
pull off the party.

629
00:18:28,633 --> 00:18:29,433
Caroline Channing: Come on.

630
00:18:29,467 --> 00:18:30,067
Let's go.

631
00:18:30,267 --> 00:18:31,300
This isn't a party here.

632
00:18:32,433 --> 00:18:33,567
There's maybe a 3 at the top
Million Dollar Bar Mitzvah,

633
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:35,233
but it's not a party.

634
00:18:35,267 --> 00:18:36,300
But I know where one is.

635
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,500
We would like the bill,
Rolf.

636
00:18:38,967 --> 00:18:39,833
And it just occurred to me.

637
00:18:39,867 --> 00:18:40,867
His name is Dennis.

638
00:18:40,900 --> 00:18:41,267
[laughter]

639
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:43,500
[music]

640
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:46,100
Max, I'm sorry.

641
00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:47,667
If I show you the parade today
I messed up.

642
00:18:47,900 --> 00:18:49,067
Well, pissed off.

643
00:18:50,033 --> 00:18:51,000
Max Black: It's no problem.

644
00:18:51,033 --> 00:18:52,933
To everything that means something to me
is peed.

645
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:54,433
Earl: Hey, you two.

646
00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:56,100
I heard you were gone.

647
00:18:56,300 --> 00:18:57,367
you missed

648
00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,500
like me
Won Hulla Hoop competition
have.

649
00:18:59,533 --> 00:19:00,600
[Laughs]

650
00:19:00,633 --> 00:19:02,333
Caroline Channing: Where can you
you Hullla-Hoop?

651
00:19:02,633 --> 00:19:04,933
Earl: And I did again
no idea.

652
00:19:04,967 --> 00:19:06,767
[laughter]

653
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,300
Max Black: You're still wearing
the sharp one

654
00:19:08,333 --> 00:19:09,600
Bagpipe outfit.

655
00:19:09,633 --> 00:19:11,933
I thought you wanted those
Number with the skirt secret
hold.

656
00:19:11,967 --> 00:19:14,500
Earl: That was before I had one
learned to appreciate.

657
00:19:14,533 --> 00:19:15,967
A cool breeze

658
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,233
around my sack -

659
00:19:17,333 --> 00:19:18,600
and my pipe.

660
00:19:18,633 --> 00:19:21,267
[laughter]

661
00:19:21,533 --> 00:19:22,933
Sophie Kachinsky: Hey, Max,

662
00:19:22,967 --> 00:19:23,967
Caroline.

663
00:19:24,433 --> 00:19:25,000
Sorry.

664
00:19:25,033 --> 00:19:25,967
Get away there, get away there.

665
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:26,633
Get away there.

666
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,067
Do you want my ass clover?
destroy?

667
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,100
Come on, get out of there.

668
00:19:30,633 --> 00:19:31,100
Hey,

669
00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:32,000
you two.

670
00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:33,367
Where have you been?

671
00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:34,500
Caroline Channing: We were in
plaza.

672
00:19:34,533 --> 00:19:35,333
And then I noticed

673
00:19:35,367 --> 00:19:36,500
that my life now

674
00:19:36,533 --> 00:19:38,333
maybe richer than
back when I was rich.

675
00:19:38,633 --> 00:19:40,067
Sophie Kachinsky: Oh no.

676
00:19:40,100 --> 00:19:42,367
Is it too late somewhere else?
to go?

677
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:46,700
Han Lee: Can you do something for me?
Borrow money?

678
00:19:47,167 --> 00:19:48,333
I met someone.

679
00:19:48,367 --> 00:19:50,267
And need a bus ticket
back from the apartment...

680
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:51,600
her sister in Jersey.

681
00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:53,667
She said we have to be quiet
be.

682
00:19:53,700 --> 00:19:55,300
But I can't do anything
promise.

683
00:19:55,333 --> 00:19:56,333
[laughter]

684
00:19:56,367 --> 00:19:57,467
Caroline Channing: Yes, Han.

685
00:19:57,500 --> 00:19:58,300
What do you need?

686
00:19:58,333 --> 00:19:58,733
20?

687
00:19:58,900 --> 00:19:59,567
Oh what the heck.

688
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,433
Here are 50.

689
00:20:00,467 --> 00:20:01,867
We can always earn something.

690
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:02,633
Or not.

691
00:20:03,033 --> 00:20:03,700
Max Black: Look.

692
00:20:03,733 --> 00:20:05,267
You throw money around.

693
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,067
So there is still hope after all.

694
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:09,100
Han Lee: Janina, we can go.

695
00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:13,833
I told you.

696
00:20:13,867 --> 00:20:15,033
100%.

697
00:20:15,067 --> 00:20:18,333
[laughter]

698
00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:22,133
Max Black: So next to who
you would like it less
wake up?

699
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,933
Sophie Kachinsky: Hi Max,
Caroline.

700
00:20:24,967 --> 00:20:25,967
Come here.

701
00:20:26,500 --> 00:20:28,200
I have two more cookies for
you.

702
00:20:28,433 --> 00:20:30,367
And a few firemen.

703
00:20:31,933 --> 00:20:33,967
Caroline Channing: Uh, where
should we sit down?

704
00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:35,633
Max Black: Oh, you're so naive.

705
00:20:36,833 --> 00:20:38,000
What's up?

706
00:20:39,967 --> 00:20:41,700
Bill Blarney: Happy St. Paddy's
Day!

707
00:20:42,100 --> 00:20:43,433
Where is my kiss?

708
00:20:43,867 --> 00:20:44,733
Sophie Kachinsky: Oh.

709
00:20:44,833 --> 00:20:46,367
Yes.

710
00:20:51,133 --> 00:20:54,633
Mmm. Scotch and fish!

711
00:20:55,367 --> 00:21:05,467
[music]

712
00:21:05,467 --> 00:21:15,467
[music]